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25-ish Signs That You’re Really Lazy


1. Your clean clothes are currently in the dryer and will remain there for the next few weeks, only being taken out piece by piece, as they are needed.

2. You’ve sat through terrible movies and awful television because the remote was on the table across from you.

3. You’re perfectly capable of walking but you’ll drive around a parking lot for 20 minutes if it means getting a decent parking spot.

4. Upon entering the store, you make eyes and salivate at those motorized chairs. If it weren’t for the fact that people would judge; you’d absolutely shop on one of those bad boys.

5. You’ve waited for a backed up escalator when there’s a fully functional set of stairs right next to it.

6. Haircuts are few and far between – not because money is an issue, but using energy on body maintenance isn’t something you’re willing to consistently do.

7. You let serious shit slide because you don’t want to deal with the lengthy problem resolution. Did they just rear-end my car? Oh well, I don’t feel like exchanging insurance info and all that mess – I’m sure you can barely see the broken tail lights and bumper damage.

8. Holding pee. And holding it, and holding it, and holding it until you absolutely have to go before you wet yourself or earn a serious UTI.

9. The mailman has to hand deliver your overflowing stack of envelopes and papers to your door because you only check it when you ordered something off Amazon.

10. You text and call people who are ten feet away in the next room.

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Real love is the love that sometimes arises after sensual pleasure: if it does, it is immortal; the other kind inevitably goes stale, for it lies in mere fantasy. – Giacomo Casanova (via desirenoir)

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